


The List Is Getting Longer

by aprylynn



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Speculation, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprylynn/pseuds/aprylynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kensi arrives home from Afghanistan and Deeks is there to meet her when the plane lands. Prompt from hermionesmydawg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The List Is Getting Longer

**Author's Note:**

> This story was first published in March 2014.

As the wheels of the C-130 hit the ground, Kensi told herself that it was finally over. She told herself that she should be excited. She's back home. She's been dreaming about this moment since leaving all those months ago.

But why doesn't it feel that way? It was only a few months, but why does it seem like a lifetime ago? Home is where you are suppose to feel safe and at ease. But all the danger and tension and uncertainty and fear and adrenaline and loneliness... all this baggage that should have been left behind when the mission was over seemed to follow her on the plane.

The idea of going to her house, of going to OSP, of seeing all the people she knows and cares about... she was craving all these things while away. Every night as she drifted off to sleep, she wished she was in her own bed. Every day when she'd see Granger, Sabatino, or Booker, she wished it was Hetty, Callen, or Nell instead.

And then there was Deeks. He was always in the back of her mind. Things had changed between them in their last 24 hours together. At first she was terrified. She lashed out at him and tried to push him away. By the end of the day, she was still terrified... but she had faith that they could figure everything out. She knew she couldn't keep making the same mistakes. She was excited at the possibility that their good thing could become something great.

Now, it was a different story. She couldn't manage to feel the least bit excited, the least bit happy. The only emotion that she recognized was anxiety. Breathing had become difficult. Her mind was a whirlwind and she couldn't make sense of all that she was feeling and remembering.

She just wanted to drive herself home and shut out the world. For how long... she had no idea.

* * *

 

She stepped off the plane onto the tarmac and made her way towards the gate. She wasn't waiting for any parting words or instrucitons from Granger. She wasn't waiting to make sure she had everything with her. She had one goal in mind: getting out of there as fast as possible. Alone.

But then she saw him and stopped in her tracks. And like he always managed to do, he was changing her mind. Deeks was standing there by the gate. Shaggy blonde hair, black leather jacket, his hands tucked in his pockets. They locked eyes and the whirlwind stopped. The frenzy of emotion and chaos was quieted... just from one look.

Once she regained use of her legs, she slowly walked up to him. Words seemed to fail both of them.

"Um... hi." The corners of his mouth turned up into a slight smile.

She dropped her bag and slid her arms into his jacket, encircling his waist. She buried her face into his neck and held on, savoring everything. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered her name into her ear. The sound of his voice and the warmth of his breath sent shivers down her spine. He must have felt her body react because he tighten his hold on her.

She pulled back slightly, enough to look him in the eyes. He slowly moved his face closer to hers. She knew he was giving her a chance to pull back, but that was the last thing she wanted. He gently placed his lips on hers and gave her a sweet lingering kiss. Her heart raced as she kissed him back. He brought one hand up and threaded his fingers through her hair as everything intensified.

Nothing else in the world matter. Not the time they were separated. Not the obstacles in their way. Not what they had endured while apart. Nothing. They had completely lost sense of where they were... until they heard someone clear their throat. They broke the kiss and looked up to find a very sour looking Owen Granger.

"I know you two missed each other, but maybe the tarmac of a military base is not the most appropriate place for a reunion like this."

"Um... yeah... sorry about that, Granger." Deeks stumbled over his words, but he didn't look the least bit sorry.

"I'll forgive you this time, Detective. And I'll forgive you for forgetting to call me Assistant Director. Again."

"Sorry, Granger. I mean, Assistant Director."

Granger shook his head and walked off. Kensi swore that she saw the beginning of a smile on his face. "Make sure Agent Blye gets home safely. She deserves a rest after a job well done."

* * *

 

Hand in hand, they walked to the car. He opened the passenger side door for her. This would normally result in an argument, but this time she was too tired... and surprisingly she was thankful for the gesture.

As he walked around the car and climbed into his seat, the fear and uncertainty and panic that was plaguing her on the plane started to surface again.

"You alright, Kens?"

"I... I don't know."

They sat in silence as she tried to remember how to breath. She was making him nervous, but she didn't know how to tell him what was going inside of her. She didn't know how to tell him what she saw, what she endured, what she went through.

She closed her eyes and deliberately took in a deep breath. It was time to leave the plane behind.

"Deeks?"

"Yeah?"

"Um... a lot happened over there. A lot that I don't know what to do with. I just don't know what to do next."

"I, uh... I think I know exactly what you mean."

"How did you do it? How did you move on? How did you make sense of everything?"

"That's a good question. I don't actually know if I ever did. I mainly just tried to forget everything, but some days that was impossible. And I worry that a day will come when I won't be able to forget it anymore."

"We're both pretty screwed up, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are."

"So what do we do now?"

He reached over and grabbed her hand, interlacing their fingers.

"Talk about things... be patient with each other... find someone to help us."

"Deeks, I'm afraid... I'm afraid that I won't be able to find my way back to my normal life. I'm afraid that we won't be able to pick up where we left off."

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing."

She gave him a concerned look, not sure of his meaning.

"Kens, you have to admit that things were pretty chaotic and confusing between us before you left. Maybe this is a perfect way for us to just start over."

"We'll pretend we're Fern and Max again?"

"No, we don't need Fern and Max. It'll be you and me. And I know we can figure this out. I know you're strong enough to work through what happened to you over there. I'll be here with you every step of the way."

She blinked rapidly and looked away. She dreaded the idea of shedding tears in front of him.

"Um... you know, the same goes for you, too. On days when you can't forget, you know I'm here for you."

"I don't know. Maybe trying to forget isn't such a good way of dealing with everything that happened to me."

"Maybe not. But we can figure that out, too."

"Wow. The list of things that we have to figure out is getting longer."

She looked up at him again and smiled. "I'm up for the challenge if you are."

He returned her smile. Then he brought her hand up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand and again on the inside of her wrist. "You better believe it."

She laughed, and not because anything was funny, but because it felt good.

"You know, I think I had an epiphany while you were gone."

"I hope you didn't hurt yourself."

"And you said you didn't know if you could be 'normal' again. That was not funny, as always."

She smiled. "You were saying..."

"I worried a lot while you were gone. I worried about you. I worried about your mission. I worried about our thing. But I also worried about me being able to do my job. The whole time I've been working at NCIS, you've been there with me. I didn't know if I'd been capable of still working there without my partner. But I found that I still could. I proved to myself that I'm good at what I do, no matter what. I realized that I don't need you to be able to do my job."

"Okay..." She did not really like the way he was heading.

"Let me finish, Kens. I may not need you to do my job... but I still absolutely need you in my life. While you were gone, I could go home at the end of a day and confidently feel proud of what I had accomplished... but it felt empty... because you weren't there to share it with me."

These tears she could not stop. "Deeks..."

He reached over and kissed her softly. Then he rested his forehead on hers. "Welcome home, partner."

"It's good to be home. It's really good to be home."

 


End file.
